Preparing for a funeral can make the actual day itself much less stressful. If you prepare for the day, you can focus on what is essential - grieving for the loved one you have lost. Below is a guide to some of the things you should think about before a funeral which will help you to prepare.
Establish where you will be sitting
Not knowing where to sit can be very stressful. Before you enter a church or crematorium, it is possible to work out where you will probably be sitting. If you are a close friend or family member, it is likely you will be guided to reserved seating at the front, closest to the coffin. A funeral director will be able to show you where you will be sitting before the service. They should also be able to guide you to your seats on the day of the funeral.
Prepare to deal with other people
At a funeral, it is customary to pass on your condolences to the family who has lost a loved one. Sometimes, people can find it difficult to know what to say. This can result in people saying things that seem insensitive or awkward. Although emotions may be running high on the day of the funeral, you should always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. It is highly unlikely that someone would set out to purposely say something to offend you on the day of a funeral. It is much more likely that the person is just nervous and that this causes them to express themselves clumsily. If you feel that someone has said something insensitive, you should calmly thank them for coming and then excuse yourself so you can walk away.
Establish the value of the honorariums
Honorariums are payments which are given to people who are providing their services free of charge. For example, the clergy and choir at a funeral are likely to attend without requesting any formal payment. However, it is customary to provide these people with an honorarium. There is no set amount you should provide, but if you would like advice, you should contact a funeral director.
Write thank you notes
Once the service is complete and the day is over, you should send out thank you notes to people who played a key part in the service such as those who delivered readings, carried the coffin or who sent flowers. Writing the thank you notes in advance can reduce your workload after the funeral.
If you would like further advice, you should speak with a funeral director.